Desperate Soccer Moms Unite

Feeling desperate? Join the club.


Like a lot of moms, I primarily stay home with my kids.

And by "stay home with them", I mean that I spend the vast majority of my days in the car, running them to and from school, dance class, play dates, the dentist, and the doctor's office to remove sausage and/or a Barbie shoe from someone's nose.

The rest of the time, I can usually be found at the grocery store.

 Or my therapist's office.

Spending your days this way used to classify someone as a stay-at-home mom, though you may have noticed that "stay-at-home" was no where on that list. Apparently, though, in some circles, moms like me are now classified as "desperate soccer moms".

Even though you may have also noticed that soccer was no where on my list. And, I'm pretty sure working moms can qualify as desperate soccer moms, too.

I initially thought that maybe I should be offended to be considered a desperate soccer mom. But the thing is, I have three kids.

 Of course I'm desperate.

I'm desperate for a clean house, though I don't really expect that I'll have one for the next fifteen years or so. I'm desperately in love with my children, in spite of the fact that they won't allow me to have the clean house I'm so desperate for, and at some point during almost every day, I'm desperate for a large vodka latte. I have yet to find one.

I'm frequently desperate for a little peace and quiet. I'm desperate for someone in my house--anyone--to start putting their own shoes away. And I'm desperate for a full night's sleep. In my own bed. Without two, or four, or six small feet kicking me in the back. Or the head. Or the back of my head.

I'm also desperately clinging to my sanity. That is, when I'm not already desperately searching for it.

 So yeah, it's true. I'm desperate.

But like most things in life, it's all what you make of it. So I think it's only right that, like so many other people do these days, I profit from my desperation.

I'm thinking it's time for a new reality show.

Desperate Soccer Moms. 

Or maybe The Real Soccer Moms.

Or, my personal favorite, Really Desperate Soccer Moms.

The best part is, your kids don't even have to play soccer for you to be a part of it.

You just have to be desperate.

Or, in other words, a mom.


Photo submitted by professional photographer Traci Carneal. 

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

michelle June 12, 2012 at 02:23 AM
I love this!! I am a grandmom raising grandchildren. Three of them! Age 8 twin boys and age 3 beautiful girl. And trying my darndest to keep up..looking for any other grandparents raising grandchildren that are the most desparate of the desparate!!!
Maryann June 12, 2012 at 03:20 AM
Thanks Michelle! Wow. Thank God for you. I think Grandmothers like you deserve their own show!


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