Ahhh--the holidays are over and the decorations are put away. The days are getting longer, and there's a fire crackling in the hearth. It's time for relaxing and...
Watching HGTV and the Food Network!!!
This is what happens every year around this time. The trifecta of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's is over. I've put away the slowly decaying decorations, scoured the sales and clearance racks for discounted (and hopefully not too damaged) wrapping paper and decorations for next year. The lights are taken down, and the pretty kitchen towels with jolly ol' St. Nick on them are put away. And, things start to look a little, well, boring.
And, since it's cold and dreary outside, I start to watch tv. Just in time for the "domestic goddess" networks to start their new programming.
And then---I get ideas.
It usually starts with The Pioneer Woman. We go from eating chicken nuggets, baked potatoes, and bagged salad from Sams Club, to crispy polenta steaks with organic zucchini and chanterelle mushrooms with a side of smashed red potatoes with blue cheese. Hamburgers suddenly have homemade flavored mustards, and french fries are make with a new mandolin and grey sea salt. He starts to see asparagus on the table. In January!!
Before the poor man had a chance to contemplate a heart attack over the newest grocery bill (not to mention the bill from Williams Sonoma), I hit him with the paint samples.
"I love these greens! This lighter color is for the these three walls, and this darker celadon is for the accent wall. It will really complement our new comforter!"
"Um. What new comforter?"
And on it goes. Accents for the bathroom he painted over the summer but I never got around to buying baskets for. White paint for the trim. Pictures and directions for creating a frame for our bathroom mirror out of leftover moulding County Curtains and J.C. Penney catalogs opened to window treatments. Poor man is scared to death to go on a business trip, since the last one he went on, he came home to a rearranged living room and a new area rug. Every time he comes home from work, there's a new addition to his Honey Do list, courtesy of the newest HGTV program from OnDemand.
Dear, sweet MacGyver--he never knew what hit him. One moment he's glorying in the relaxation of Sunday afternoon football. The next thing he knows, I've turned him into Martha Stewarts b*tch!
Poor man gets to look forward to spending the next few months' worth of weekends repainting bedrooms and putting together furniture. And cursing home decorating shows and foodie magazines. The kiddos, of course, are all into it.
"I love the Pioneer Woman, mommy. Can you make strawberry jam and home school us on a ranch like she does?"
"Mommy, can we watch The Amandas again? I want a blue and white closet just like hers!"
Yeah, so poor daddy can go hide in it so we don't force him to repaint the living room that new dove gray I saw in the Pottery Barn catalog...