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Ned, I Will Always Love You!

Breast Cancer Humor

This is the time of the year that I get to visit my friends at the hospital, we get to throw back a drink or two, and get cozy together! Yes folks, this is the time of year that I get slid in and out of every scanning, beeping, big, scary machine that you can think of! The night before or the morning of, I get to drink chalky drinks, liquid this, liquid that, all in the name of finding out if my boyfriend Ned and I are still together! For those of you that don't know Ned, he stands for No Evidence of Cancer.The thing about Ned is, even though I love and adore him, I do like to share him whenever I can!!
My story of having breast cancer has not gone without humor, just yesterday I went for a consult before my next big test and hopefully final test of this year. As many of you know, when you see a new doctor for the first time, you fill out at least 48 forms. Yesterday, while filling out the new patient forms, I read one and re read it as in my 4 years of dealing with cancer had not seen before. It asked if I or anyone in my family had mental retardation. At first I was thinking wow!, really, you are asking this, and then I checked the yes box!  When the doctor came in I asked him if someone were actually mentally retarded would he not treat them? He looked at me like I really was crazy and said "What are you talking about"? So I showed him the form and he was floored! He had no idea this was on the form.Ah hah, I said, I knew you or no other doctor reads these! He then asks "Where were you born"? My reply was "Where were you born"  He then says,do you really perform stand up comedy? I said yes and even sitting I can make you laugh! He looks at me very serious and says "I bet I can make you laugh right now!", and proceeded to tell me a very funny medical joke. Okay doc, am I good for Monday? He comes back with, you'll be great if you turn your shirt right side in, I looked down and sure enough my shirt was inside out! Now about that form I filled out....
On a side note folks, as it is Breast Cancer Awareness month, ALL of you need a breast check, yes, men too, please know, you are not immune! Early detection is key to saving lives!And to all of the survivors out there, may Ned remain your friend forever!

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Cynthia Newman Meents October 04, 2012 at 06:36 PM
Having had my share of the big chalky drinks (Crohn's disease), I feel your pain. In fact, I'll see your big chalky drink and raise you a gallon of Colyte. Glad to hear of your longstanding relationship with Ned. May it continue for many more years.
Beth October 04, 2012 at 07:15 PM
Thank you, don't you get the Snickers flavored drink? Me either! Health to you always!
Beth October 04, 2012 at 08:42 PM
To everyone reading this I know that NED is no evidence of disease, but when you have cancer, I prefer to say, they saw no cancer! Sounds a lot better to me!
David Park October 05, 2012 at 12:28 AM
We like NED, congratulations Beth.
Beth October 05, 2012 at 12:56 AM
I LOVE Ned! He is hopefully my long term boyfriend! :) Thank you for taking your time to comment!
sandie October 05, 2012 at 01:05 AM
Great one Beth...
Beth October 05, 2012 at 01:07 AM
Thanks for reading Sandie! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Maryann October 05, 2012 at 01:21 AM
You're an inspiration :) Hoping Ned sticks around forever!
Beth October 05, 2012 at 01:27 AM
AWW! Thank you! And me too! Thanks for reading this!
Barry October 05, 2012 at 06:13 AM
Great stuff Beth. My work colleagues in Australia enjoyed this read. You and Ned are a perfect match i think. Barry_Australia
Beth October 05, 2012 at 07:09 AM
Hi Barry, thank you to you and your colleagues for reading this. What part of Australia are you from? And yes, One day I hope to be able to say that me and Ned go way back! :)
Robin Slate Eckwerth October 05, 2012 at 01:30 PM
Lets always have a 3 some! NED for you and NED for me! Congratulations on your Lover of Life, NED....
Beth October 05, 2012 at 01:46 PM
I am only too happy to share Ned. It warms my heart! Thanks Robin for taking a minute to comment! TO NED!
Sara Spivey October 06, 2012 at 10:02 AM
I'm crying & laughing. You are such an inspiration, Beth. I knew God put you in my life for a reason. Your attitude is, just, out of this world & such a rarity. I love you I love you I love you. Hell, I even love ol NED. Congrats on being yet again, cancer free. LET'S GO CELEBRATE W/SOME 'ritas!! <3333333
Beth October 06, 2012 at 11:10 AM
Rita's it is! Thank you for taking a minute to comment! I have to keep this attitude as some days I'm on the brink!!!! And as for Ned, I for one, love and adore him! ;)
Ava October 07, 2012 at 10:18 PM
Beth, Congratulations. I am soo proud of you ...YOU are amazing. I Love NED.
Beth October 07, 2012 at 11:20 PM
And so do I! Thank you, and thanks for taking a minute to comment!
Jacqueline Grant October 09, 2012 at 03:32 AM
Ahhh Brilliant B! I hope Ned stays with you always. Check your next bill and see if you were charged for "prevention of embarrassment " Haha. Sounds like a great doctor. Serious. :) Pink Pride!!!!
Beth October 09, 2012 at 03:54 AM
He is a great doctor! I'll be charged ....a lot! haha Pink Pride, I like that! Thank you for taking time to comment, I appreciate this!

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